"Contract" | Koda

Contract

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She'd say,
"Great Grandma is old."
And I, at five
didn't understand
just how old
old was.

"If you live to one-hundred,"
I'd say
('cause I knew grandmas
had to die, and that
One-Hundred was a lot),
"I promise: you
will be a great–
great grandma."

"Oh, yeah?"
she would ask, and smile,
smoking her cigarette,
and blowing
thick plumes from her
huge nose...
"I hope so."
...her false teeth
shining in the trailer light.

And I grew up, learning
just how old
she was.

But,

she was resilient; uncanny; amazing;
and it seemed to me that maybe, just
maybe she was
the exception.
It seemed, at least—
we were going to keep our deal.

And she grew old,
and forgot things;
but never me.

Never, ever me.

And I never had kids...

And it turns out,
One-Hundred
is a lot to ask.

But, she almost made it
to ninety-six,
and I, at thirty...
still feel guilty.

Reviews for Contract

Reviews

Posted by (user) Paul M on Writing.com - 3/24/15

"Well done! I did have some trouble with the line breaks and cadence.... but I think Grandma may have approved."

Posted by (user) Steve # 2031373 Go! on Writing.com - 3/13/2015

"Found your piece in the Authors Newletter 3-11-15
I often use the NLs to garner reviewing fodder.

My grandmother; on my mothers side; was well into her 80s I believe.
Unfortunately dementia took her from us and the EST of the institutions back then reduced her functionality as well.
I still miss here; rolling her own cigarettes; smoking them much like your grandma; and loving her grandchildren.
That's imagery that pulled this from my hearts mind.
Form and structure are foundationally firm.
Flow is smooth and symmetrical.
Pace is fast as the scene unfolds, and sad at the end when you feel guilty.
Thank yo for sharing this snap shot of your grandmother and the interaction she had with you."

Posted by Ann Patterson on Writing.com - 3/07/2015

"This Great Grandmother IS old...at 77 and hoping to reach a hundred...be older....but I can never be ashamed at my granddaughter, now ten, when she was younger and just beginning to understand age, and she touched her hand to my knee, looked up sweetly and said, 'GranMoM, you are old.' I smiled and kissed her hand, 'Yes, honey, GranMoM is old and I'm going to get a lot older, and you will too some day.'

Don't 'still feel guilty' for grandmothers know the truth and are proud to still be alive with a granddaughter to love, and even to be "old". I had the privilege of knowing my great grandmother for years and still remember our last 'goodbye', shared weekly letters to/from both my grandmothers from the year I was 13 and we moved 3,000 miles away; I was privileged.

I love this poem as a poet and grandmother. You've shown understanding for those of us who have the privilege of long life; we know just how fortunate we are. Our grandchildren are treasures for us and they give us reasons to smile. You have to.

ANN"

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Koda's next collection will include pieces 2005-2015, and will be entitled Koda Means Friend. There is not a set date for when this collection will be available at this time, as it is still being compiled. This piece may or may not appear in the next collection, but you can enjoy it right here on the website for the time being. Please check back here or Subscribe for updates, or follow Koda on Facebook and/or Twitter.